Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
