i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
