no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
