Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
