Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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