If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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