Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
