so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
