didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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