True but thats because hes a fetus.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
