And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
two words: eviction party
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He did a backflip because drugs
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
