I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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