Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
