somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
