I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
