He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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