The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
