her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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