This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
birth control should be required to get into college
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
