im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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