hotel room ftw
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
