So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
