Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
