dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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