we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
