I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
