By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
