i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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