we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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