OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
