lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
