i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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