did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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