Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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