Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
