um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
