i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have fence marks all over my body
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize