yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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