I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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