I got chris browned last night
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
