just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
