Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
