I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
