Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
