plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
