You really coming over, don't trick.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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