At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
