I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
