why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
