So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
