I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
