were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
