just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I love you.
Bad choice
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
