i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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