He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
