I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Randomize