Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
