Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
